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  She nodded her head and laid her hand atop his. The simple gesture shocked and pleased him. It was the first physical intimacy she'd instigated and though it was only a touch he was elated that she felt safe enough with him to instigate it. He smiled at her and rolled his hand as he took her hand in his, twining his fingers with hers.

  He found it odd that such a straightforward touch; such a simple move from Kara had given him such a jolt of pleasure and satisfaction. He was sexually experienced, his sexual tastes running the gamut, and yet, none of his sexual exploits had given him the sharp jolt of deep down contentment that Kara's hand landing trustingly on his had just given him.

  "Are you feeling less lost?” he asked.

  She smiled. “I feel lots less lost. Thanks to you."

  He squeezed her hand and his heart soared. He felt warmed by her appreciation and by the growing trust he could tell she felt.

  He sighed deeply, tranquility settling over him. It hadn't been an easy day for him and he knew it had been a heck of a lot worse for Kara, but there was reason to hope it would work out alright.

  He was profoundly grateful that Kara wasn't sharp and resentful or distant toward him. He knew she had every reason to be. He'd run rough shod over her, forcing her into a marriage that had clearly made her more than a little uneasy. He sighed. He'd never seen her angry, even when she'd had every reason to be spitting mad at her brother she'd shown only an even keeled determination to help him.

  He glanced up as the waitress came out of the back carrying a large dessert dish filled with strawberries and ice cream topped with whipped cream. “Here comes dessert,” he told Kara as the waitress approached.

  The waitress placed the bowl on the table between them and handed him two spoons. “Anything else I can get you?

  Refills on the drinks?"

  "No, we're fine. Thanks.” Slade responded.

  After the waitress had gone he handed Kara one of the spoons and nudged the dish toward her. She eyed the massive concoction but didn't dig in.

  He steered the topic of conversation toward Christmas and their differing Christmas traditions as he slid the ice cream closer to her and urged her to eat. He smiled inwardly as she shyly dipped her spoon into the melted ice cream and strawberries that had dripped down the side of the sundae. He liked the intimacy of sharing dessert with her.

  Their conversation drifted into a discussion of how they could merge the traditions of their two families. That led to the rather obvious solution of them having the Christmas celebrations at their house.

  After inquiring whether the house was big enough to house so many people Kara enthusiastically agreed to host the dinner. He enjoyed the sparkle in her eyes as she savored the ice cream and talked about fixing some of the traditional family recipes she'd stopped making as her own family had shrunk. The happiness she seemed to feel helped ease the lump of regret that had risen in his chest when he realized she had never seen his house, their house, not even a picture.

  His heart swelled with admiration that tangled with the heartfelt wish that he had been able to spend more time with her before the wedding. Rushing into the marriage had caused her distress and cheated her out of the pleasure that should have been present on her wedding day. That she was still open and warm, trusting, rather than resentful and angry amazed him.

  She dipped her spoon into the strawberries and melted ice cream that had run down the side of the frozen creation. He watched as she carried the melted mixture to her mouth.

  Watching her eat was a sensual affair that stirred his fantasies. In his minds eye he imagined her as he anticipated she would be when they knew each other better and he had earned her complete trust.

  In his fantasy she was naked, kneeling submissively next to him as he lifted spoonfuls of strawberry sundae to her lips. She was comfortable with her nudity, content with the nice curves of her body. She opened her mouth, obediently swallowing each spoonful of sweet concoction.

  In his imagination he let the cold mixture spill so that it dripped between her breasts and onto the soft skin of her belly below. He imagined her response, watched in his minds eye as her nipples puckered in reaction to the cold ice cream. He continued to feed her, occasionally spilling little streams of ice cream that dripped onto her puckered nipples and onto the sensitive skin of her tummy trickling down like miniature streams to disappear into the dark triangle nestled between her legs. When he had her drizzled in melted ice cream he laid her back and slowly licked the melted delicacy from her.

  He started with her mouth, sucking and kissing, licking every trace of ice cream from her. Her mouth was open, her tongue mating with his as she sighed deeply, enjoying his kisses but impatient for his mouth to move lower where he'd feast on her breasts and the hard peaks of her nipples. He'd draw her pleasure out there, alternating between little love nibbles that made her gasp and soothing caresses of his tongue that made her moan with pleasure. He already knew how sensitive her nipples were and how he could carry her along with the alternating sensations of sharp and soft.

  He could almost hear the whimpers as his mouth slid lower, his tongue teasing the soft feminine arch of her belly, enjoying the tender responsive skin there.

  He went slowly so that each touch of his tongue made her ache for more. He built her passion with breathtaking slowness. The zig-zag pattern of the ice cream that he followed lower heightened her awareness of him and prepared her for the eventual destination of his tongue as he slowly followed the line of melted ice cream to where it disappeared in the dark patch of curls that nestled between her legs.

  He inhaled the sexy female scent of her as he continued, his tongue swirling through the dark hair, his mouth making slurping noises as he sucked at her fur covered mound licking the ice cream from her. He enjoyed the bucking of her hips and the ferocity of her desire as his tongue circled, teasing, just barely missing her clit as he licked at the channels of melted ice cream that disappeared into her female softness.

  "What's Christmas like with your family?” The question jerked him from the fantasy.

  He swallowed hard and reined in his wayward thoughts. Christmas! He reminded himself, as his thoughts would have gone off in pursuit of the fantasy ice cream that had disappeared into Kara's feminine folds.

  "It's pretty traditional. Most things with my family are pretty traditional.” He smiled, his mind drifting just briefly to the fantasy ice cream. “Since my mom has gotten older, my sisters have started having dinner at their houses. Everyone else brings stuff. There's more food than you can imagine.” He grinned. “The women cook and talk and the men watch football and drink beer. The house is full of kids and noise.” He smiled at her. “It's nice. Laid back. You'll like it."

  He scraped the last bits of ice cream and cake from the bottom of the bowl and extended his spoon to Kara, the fantasy resurfacing as she lowered her lashes and opened her mouth for the bite he offered.

  Pull yourself together, he thought as he pushed away thoughts of melting ice cream trailing down Kara's front and tugged his wayward thoughts back to the drive that lay ahead.

  "Shall we get back on the road?” he asked pushing the bowl to the side.

  Kara nodded, surprised to find herself looking forward to being in the SUV with him. His sexual knowledge and candor, which had embarrassed her at first, now seemed more reassuring than frightening and she no longer feared him in the same way she had before.

  Slade stood, and dug his wallet from his hip pocket. He pulled several bills from it and left them on the table.

  "Next stop cabin?” he asked taking her hand in his and pulling her against the warm hollow at his side where she fit so well.

  She nodded, feeling safe in his embrace. She released a deep breath, marveling that she'd been able to leave the panic attacks behind ... at least temporarily.

  She owed Slade for that, she realized. It was his confidence, his experience, and the calm direct way he'd tackled her fears that made her trust him. And it was the trust
that had short-circuited the panic attacks. The more she thought about it the more sure she was.

  Slade pushed the heavy restaurant door open and maneuvered himself and Kara through it. She snuggled closer against him as they stepped into the darkened parking lot.

  "Cold?” he asked pulling her closer and wrapping his arm more tightly around her.

  "No, just appreciative,” she sighed.

  Chapter 6

  "Wait here. I'll get the lights,” Slade said as he pushed the cabin door open.

  Kara waited on the plank porch as he stepped into the darkness inside. She wrapped her arms around herself as the cold winter breeze licked at her, chilling her even through her thick sweater. She stepped toward the cabin door and would have stepped inside if she hadn't slammed into Slade's tall body just as light flooded the porch. “I asked you to wait till I had the lights on,” he said, as his hands grasped her upper arms.

  His voice contained an edge that sent a tingle of alarm up her back. His voice was calm. His eyes were dark, more gray now than blue and they held her as surely as his hands. “From now on you need to do what I ask,” he said. He didn't seem angry, just firm, but she knew he wasn't happy that she'd started into the cabin without waiting for him.

  His attitude annoyed her. She knew she'd agreed to be an obedient wife, but surely that had some reasonable limits associated with it. It wasn't like she had disobeyed him just to be disobedient; she'd only wanted to get inside where it was warmer. She sucked in a breath to explain but the thought abandoned her in a startled yelp as Slade bent and scooped her up in one fluid movement.

  Panic shot through her as he straightened with her grasped in his arms. The memory of him telling her he'd be willing to spank her to keep her in line exploded in her mind. The images she'd seen during her internet research into dominance and submission, domestic discipline, and BDSM, which all seemed somehow connected, sprang to her mind. Fear exploded making her heart pound.

  The memory of him promising that he would never spank her without her consent followed, slowly expanding within her.

  Her mind spun as he turned and carried her into the cabin, pausing to kick the door closed behind them. He had been disgruntled. His voice had conveyed displeasure, yet she knew she was in no physical danger from him. He had promised that he wouldn't spank her without her consent, and when she stopped to consider it she believed him.

  Even so, the sudden kick of adrenaline that had surged through her during the seconds she'd thought he might intend to spank her had released a swarm of unhappy memories. Dizzy nausea tore through her. Thoughts tumbled one over the other, fragmented, disconnected.

  Defenselessness. Darkness. The damp moldy smell of a basement combined with the odor of death. She remembered being lifted, even as she kicked and fought. She knew in a kind of distant way that they were the stray memories of a seven year old fighting a much stronger, more powerful adult. But in that moment they were real. The memories were real, the images that would have been better left buried were real.

  She scrambled against Slade's grip. She didn't want to be picked up. She didn't want to be helpless or defenseless, not now, not ever again.

  "Put me down!” She kicked her legs. Slade's grasp was strong and her kicks were little more than ineffectual wiggles.

  On their own the kicks wouldn't have been enough to stop him, but the panic that edged her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He loosened his hold, letting her slide to the floor. He held onto her steadying her until she was settled on her feet, then he let her go. As soon as he released her she backed away, her chest rising and falling with each agitated breath.

  He stood rooted to the spot where he'd stopped with her in his arms. He didn't move toward her or make any effort to touch her as his gaze rested on her, studying her.

  His confusion at her reaction fell away as recognition hit him. Fear. He knew it when he saw it, even if he didn't understand its origins.

  It hadn't been his intent to frighten her as he'd lifted her, intending to carry her over the threshold. He'd hoped she would find his adherence to the tradition romantic. While he had expected her to protest that she was too heavy or that theirs wasn't a traditional marriage he hadn't expected it to frighten her.

  He waited, patient, quiet, allowing her to regain her composure without his interference. He made a mental note to move more slowly with her, to warn her before he picked her up in the future.

  He let his gaze wander the living room of the cabin. He gave Kara space, not wanting to add to her discomfort by focusing on her fear.

  The room was nice. It smelled of lemon and furniture polish and was decorated in dark shades of green and cream. Natural stone and wood gave the room a rustic country look. It sported a massive stone fireplace that took up an entire wall. The furniture, a loveseat with built in recliners and a large overstuffed rocker, looked like they would be comfortable. The pieces were arranged to provide a nice space for an intimate conversation or a romantic snuggle in front of the fireplace. A big screen television sat in the corner, easily viewable from either the chair or the loveseat.

  When he sensed Kara had regained a measure of calm he extended his hand to her. “Care to have a look around our home away from home?” he asked.

  She looked shy and embarrassed, but she placed her hand in his outstretched palm and moved closer. Hand in hand they wandered through the small cabin. They poked into the cupboards and the refrigerator in the nicely equipped kitchen commenting over the generous stash of snacks stowed in the cupboards and the variety of sodas in the refrigerator.

  Slade tugged Kara into the bedroom mentally holding his breath as he awaited her reaction to the king-sized bed made of yellow pine logs that dominated the room. He half expected her to bolt for the door as the intimacy of their situation closed in on her.

  "I love the fireplace,” she said, her eyes resting on the massive stone fireplace that took up most of the bedroom wall.

  "I thought you might like the fireplaces,” he said. “They're one of the reasons I chose this cabin over some of the others I saw."

  "You picked it—because—because you thought I might like fireplaces?"

  He nodded. “I wasn't able to spend time with you before the wedding, but I didn't totally shirk my responsibilities as a husband.” He smiled down into her upturned face. He caressed her cheek, gazing directly into her deep brown eyes. “I do want to make you happy Kara."

  Trust and something else he couldn't put his finger on warred in her eyes. He watched the mingling expressions that chased across her face, wanting her with an ache that started deep within him. He slid his hand from her cheek, slipping it under the curtain of dark brown hair that cascaded down to her shoulders and rested his palm on the nape of her neck as he bent and kissed her.

  He kept the kiss purposefully gentle and slow. He teased her mouth with his, his tongue flicking her lips, and urging them apart. When her mouth opened beneath the lazy urging of his he savored the sweet vanilla taste of her.

  His mouth still plundering her sweetness, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close, liking the soft warm pressure of her breasts as they molded themselves against the hard wall of his chest.

  He lifted his head slowly, his breath ragged from the kiss and the pent up desire that raged through him. He wanted to kiss her again.

  Hell, he wanted to do a lot more than just kiss her. He wanted to lay her down on the quilt-covered bed and touch her with his hands and his mouth. He wanted to feel the weight of her breasts in his palms. He wanted to tease her nipples until they were hard pebbles against him. He wanted to explore the soft indentation at her waist and the smooth swell of her backside. He wanted her soft body naked beneath him so that he could touch and taste and savor every part of her.

  He drew a deep breath and struggled to rein in his need. He knew instinctively that it was too soon for her, that he needed to give her time to get used to him touching her and kissing her without it going anywhere near the bed.<
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  He couldn't unleash the full maelstrom of his desire now. If he did she'd shrink from it and from him and he'd lose much of the trust he'd built with her. For now he would keep things light and comfortable and let her find her footing.

  He caressed her arms and shoulders, feeling the tension melt beneath his hands. “The bed looks comfortable,” he said softly, wanting to draw her attention to it now so that she would have time to get used to the idea of sharing it with him before that intimacy became a reality.

  She stepped back, turning, her gaze skittering to rest on the massive bed. He watched as she worried her lower lip with the sharp edges of her perfect white teeth.

  She didn't say anything but he had the strong sense that she was trying to figure out a way to get out of sharing the big bed with him. Hell, she'd probably offer to sleep on the loveseat in the living room if she thought he'd let her get away with it.

  He'd already decided there was no chance of that. He would wait for sex if she wasn't ready. He'd wait for her submission if she needed more time to make sense of the intricacies of dominance and submission. He wouldn't bully her on those things but she was not going to sleep anywhere but next to him.

  His eyes rested on the massive wood framed bed as he contemplated how many ways he could tie Kara to it. He wondered idly how long it would be before she'd trust him enough that she'd let him tie her up.

  He drew his mind from the fantasy stirring to life in his mind and focused on Kara instead. “Want to look at the bathroom?” he asked. “From the pictures on the internet it looked nice."

  She nodded; and Slade was sure she was happy to escape the intimacy of the bedroom and the imposing presence of the bed.

  He ushered her into the bathroom ahead of him, bumping into her when she came to an abrupt stop just inside the bathroom door. “There's a fireplace in here too,” she said with astonishment in her voice as she looked back at him. The expression of surprise and pleasure that filled her face jolted him.