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  "I know,” Slade murmured. “I chose this cabin because I thought you might like taking a bath in front of the fire. I've heard women go for that sort of thing."

  Kara looked back over her shoulder and smiled up at him feeling suffused with warmth. The knowledge that he'd specifically chosen this cabin because it had several fireplaces, and because he'd thought she might like bathing in front of the fireplace, made her feel treasured.

  "Why are you so nice to me, Slade?” she asked softly. “My brother stole your money—I don't deserve—"

  "Shhh-shh, Kara,” Slade whispered in her ear as he pulled her against him. She didn't resist, didn't even want to as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him so that his chest pressed against her back, warming her even through her thick sweater. She felt the puff of his breath as he nuzzled the top of her head and planted kisses there.

  The bathroom doorway was not the most romantic spot but Kara hardly noticed where they were as Slade's deep voice smoothed her jangled nerves. “You deserve to be cherished Kara. I knew that right from the very beginning, when you came into my office all ready to fight for your brother."

  "You knew? How?"

  She felt him shrug.

  "I'm not sure how I knew, but I did. Instinct I guess."

  His arms tightened around her. “The very first thing I felt, aside from physical attraction, was a desire to protect you."

  She snuggled her back into his chest, liking the feel of his warm breath stirring her hair and the soft rumble of his voice in her ear. She was beginning to like him. She was beginning to like the way he thought about her wants and pandered to them, treating her like she was someone to be spoiled and cherished rather than the sister of the man who had stolen thirty thousand of his dollars.

  She sighed. It would be nice if she could melt into Slade and let him protect her.

  "You looked sad and I had the sense that you had the whole weight of the world on your shoulders.” He tightened his arms around her and she nestled closer.

  "I did. I was terrified that my brother would go to prison and that the stress of a trial and everything would kill my mother."

  "I know, you told me when you were in my office, remember?"

  She nodded.

  "You haunted me Kara. I wasn't good for anything else the rest of the day. I kept thinking about you, remembering what you looked like. I couldn't forget how scared and unhappy you looked and I kept thinking about how I wanted to take the load off your shoulders and see you smile."

  She still didn't understand why he'd insisted she marry him. He could have helped her without marrying her, but she felt soft toward him, and trusting in a way she had never expected to feel toward anyone, especially not a man she'd expected to dominate and bully her.

  He tightened his arms around her pulling her more snugly against him. “Now that I've seen you smile I know that it makes me very happy."

  She felt the protective walls she'd begun erecting around herself when she was seven beginning to melt. Slade was a good man. He was honorable and dependable. He might have forced her into a marriage she hadn't wanted but he hadn't abused his power as her husband.

  He deserved to have a wife who was as honorable and direct as he was, someone who was not damaged, whose family hadn't stolen from him. He deserved more than a wife with a closet full of skeletons she couldn't even bring herself to talk about.

  Yet, he'd married her and she liked him, really liked him. In some deep primal part of herself she wanted to throw caution to the wind and take the chance that she could actually become the submissive wife he'd described the day he'd proposed. Part of her wanted to believe that they could share a happy life together.

  She remembered he'd said he wanted an obedient wife, someone he didn't have to argue with about every decision. She thought she could learn to be obedient. Still, she doubted she'd ever measure up in the sexual department. He'd said he wanted an enthusiastic sexual partner and she was not enthusiastic about sex. The whole idea made her break out in a cold sweat.

  Still she left a little room for hope. Given time there was a very small chance that she could tell him about her past and somehow trust him enough that she could learn to like sex, at least a little bit. The fact that she had enjoyed making out with him in the SUV at the restaurant gave her room for hope.

  She snuggled against his chest enjoying the security she felt there. He was strong and stable. Trustworthy. She knew instinctively that he would protect her, that he would never purposely hurt her and that he wouldn't let anyone else hurt her either.

  "Do you need to call and check on your mom before it gets late?” Slade asked nuzzling the top of her head.

  "I probably should, yes.” She said as she shifted away from the warmth of his embrace.

  "I didn't mean this minute,” he said softly, his breath brushing her ear as he pulled her back against his chest. “I like holding you and I'm not quite ready to let you go."

  She smiled and snuggled back into his arms, content to stay nestled against him until he was ready to let her go. He held her for several minutes before he spoke again.

  "You can use my cell phone, to talk to your mom. I've got a few groceries to bring in and I'll get fires going in the fireplaces while you're talking."

  When I'm done talking, what then? The thought broadsided her. The peace that had settled over her as she'd relaxed against his chest seemed shattered as they shifted apart.

  Chapter 7

  Slade withdrew his cell phone from a case on his belt, pressed a few keys to unlock the keypad and handed it to her. “Take your time with your mom,” he said softly as he bent and kissed her.

  "Thanks Slade,” she said as she looked up meeting his blue gray gaze.

  "You're welcome honey,” he said caressing her cheek gently before he turned and walked back through the bedroom and back into the living room.

  Kara looked for a place where she could sit to talk to her mom. The bed seemed too intimate so she ambled into the living room and curled up at one end of the love seat. She dialed her number and tucked the phone under her ear.

  Slade only caught glimpses of Kara and stray bits of her end of the conversation as he puttered around the kitchen stowing the groceries he'd brought along. He hadn't realized before how dependent Kara's mom was on her. He listened as Kara asked about her blood sugar and her blood pressure and reminded her of which medications she needed to take.

  He smiled as he heard Kara describing the cabin and telling her mom that he'd picked it because he'd thought she'd like all the fireplaces. He warmed at the appreciation in her voice but then he knew Kara appreciated even the smallest things. That had been one of the first things he had noticed about her and it was one of the reasons he'd gone to the extra trouble to look for a cabin he thought she would really like.

  Seeing her light up with pleasure the way she had when she'd seen the bathroom fireplace had made it worth the extra effort it had taken to spoil her, and it made him determined to continue spoiling her every chance he got.

  He drifted with her end of the conversation, glad to hear in her voice and in her words that she was beginning to trust him. He had definitely tried to show her, both with words and with his actions that he was trustworthy. He wasn't sure exactly when she'd begun to relax and trust him and he wasn't sure how strong her trust was, even yet, but she did know she trusted him more than she had at the wedding, and that was enough for now.

  With the groceries put away he carried wood in from the stack on the porch and began to build fires in the fireplaces. He'd just finished stoking the fire in the living room when he heard Kara tell her mom she'd call her the next day.

  Slade rose from his squatted position in front of the fire and moved toward the loveseat where Kara was seated with her legs curled beneath her, the phone resting in her lap, a worried frown marring her otherwise perfect features. “How's your mom?” he asked.

  "Her sugar and blood pressure are both a little high, b
ut otherwise she seems okay."

  He could detect a trace of worry in her voice. “You're worried about her though?” he asked as he sat down next to her.

  "I'm always a little worried about her,” she answered with a sigh.

  He felt a stab of sympathy but didn't know how to help. “I gave her the cell number and the cabin number when you were changing at the church. She'll be able to reach you if she needs to."

  "Thanks for doing that.” She smiled up at him. “It was nice of you to think about it.” Her voice was soft and husky with appreciation but there was also an undercur rent of apprehension that drew his attention.

  "Honey, what is it? It's not just your mom is it?"

  No, it wasn't just her mom, and it wasn't just sex either. She felt uncertain, stressed, her nerves jangled. She felt on edge and there was no one thing she could point to as the cause. It was more that she felt overwhelmed by the combination of all of it.

  She had only horrendous memories of sex, memories she had kept locked away and had never allowed to surface. While she trusted Slade not to make the experience unbearable she was still afraid that the experience itself would let loose all the demons she'd fought so hard to lock away all those years ago. She feared that all of the ugliness would come rushing back too strong and too powerful for her to be able to make it go away again.

  She felt as lost and alone as she had at seven when doctors, police, psychiatrists and her parents had all questioned her, all wanting to know what had happened to her and Kayla. She hadn't given specifics then. She'd buried the sex, the brutality, and the ugliness deep in her seven-year-old psyche, and she'd never let it out in all the years since. She swallowed back the bitter taste of fear. She didn't want to let it out now any more than she had then.

  "Come here, Kara,” Slade said softly.

  She pushed away the ugliness of her thoughts and scooted closer to him. She still felt icy in spite of the fire that roared in the fireplace. Slade turned toward her, wrapping his arms around her.

  "Why so uptight all of a sudden? You can trust me. I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to do. Okay?"

  She nodded. She could trust him. Did trust him. Still she felt scattered and unfocused inside like shards of shattered glass.

  "We can snuggle in front of the fire, kiss like we did at the restaurant.” Slade drew her against his chest, his fingers stroking her hair and her face.

  She snuggled into his arms, burying her face against his chest, inhaling his strength and stability as his warmth ebbed into her chasing away some of the chill and the doubts that had overtaken her.

  "You can relax honey, absolutely nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen,” he whispered as he kissed her forehead.

  He watched as she looked up at him, her eyes huge in her face. He bent his head and kissed her gently on the forehead. Then he dropped a playful kiss on her nose. He could feel her apprehension waning as he spread playful kisses over nose, her cheeks, her chin.

  He kept his kisses gentle, almost playful as he smiled down at her between them. He'd spent most of the day trying to get her to relax and trust him and he'd be dammed if he would send her into an emotional tailspin by rushing her at this point, no matter how hard his cock was or how badly it ached to be inside her.

  He continued to kiss her, gently, leisurely, the kisses not building in intensity or designed to take them anywhere. He could feel the last traces of her apprehension dissolving as he kissed and caressed her.

  "Feeling better?” he asked after a lengthy silence.

  He felt her nod against his shoulder as her eyes rose to meet his. He thought that the pure unadulterated trust he saw in her gaze was worth just about any price. “I just felt overwhelmed I've never done this before. I don't know what to expect or whether I will even like it. What if I hate it?"

  He caught the edge of panic in her voice. “Shhh Kara, you won't hate sex,” he soothed. “The capacity to enjoy sex is wired into all of us I think. It might hurt a little at first; it does sometimes for women. Is that what you're worried about?"

  "Some."

  "Then I'll just have to be careful and slow. There's a lot I can do to make it better the first time.” Like keep my cock out of you while I'm this hard and this ready, he thought to himself.

  "Really?” Her surprise coated her voice. She eased away from him looking up into his face, her eyes questioning the truth of what he'd said.

  "Yes, really,” he chuckled tugging her against him.

  She still looked painfully shy and timid as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips.

  "We don't have to do anything. We can stop or slow down. Whatever you need.” Her soulful brown gaze climbed his chest, till her gaze had connected with his. He studied her eyes, trying to decipher the cacophony of emotions that stared at him from their depths. He saw shadows of sadness and fear which he didn't really understand but the trust that also shone from her eyes made his heart swell with pride and the need to make this first time good for her.

  He bent his head to nibble her full lower lip, teasing her mouth with his tongue and teeth. “So serious Kara,” he whispered. “I will make it good. I will make you feel good. I promise."

  She sighed, a soft almost resigned sound that niggled at his conscience. He should slow down, stop, give her more time to get used to him.

  "I can talk you through it,” he teased in an effort to lighten the mood.

  "Yes. Please.” The breathy request and the way her brown eyes held his was almost his undoing.

  He stroked her shoulder, watched her swallow. “Please?” She reiterated her request.

  He nodded, just one short bob of his head as he pulled her toward him.

  "I like it when you talk about sex—you seem to—know what you're talking about, and—um, that makes me feel better,” she dipped her head resting her forehead on his chest.

  He felt a stab of affection zip through him as his heart missed a beat. She was very shy and very inexperienced, yet she seemed completely without pretense, baldly telling him that she liked it when he talked dirty.

  Still, she'd looked so worried that he toyed with the idea of just taking her to bed and holding her until she fell asleep. Only the knowledge that if he did that she'd still have whatever fears had lurked in the shadows of her gaze stopped him. There was something to be said for plowing through her fear and showing her the pleasure.

  "I'm going to carry you to our bed,” he said, caressing the line of her cheekbone with his knuckles.

  "I'm going to kiss you and I'm going to make you feel good Kara, really good, like in the SUV earlier, except I won't have to stop unless you want me to.” He stroked her hair. Loving the soft trusting way she relaxed against him.

  She didn't raise her gaze but he watched as a blush stole up her cheeks. He felt protectiveness swell inside him. More than anything else he wanted to make her first sexual experience mind-blowingly good for her.

  "I don't want you to do anything but just relax and trust me. Let me know if anything hurts in a bad way or makes you uncomfortable, okay?"

  She nodded her head unable to find her voice. She felt vulnerable and afraid, and yet she trusted Slade. She knew if she was ever going to have a first sexual experience she wanted it to be with him.

  He pulled her against him and kissed her deeply, his mouth stroking hers as he caressed her shoulders and her back. When he ended the kiss he stood and lifted her in his arms, loving the way she nuzzled her face against his chest as he carried her.

  Kara liked the clean spicy scent that clung to him and the solidness and strength that emanated from him. She liked the way he carried her, lifting her in his powerful arms and carrying her as if she weighed nothing at all.

  The bed was soft beneath her, as he settled her on it. She looked up, her eyes meeting his as he stood beside the bed looking down at her.

  "Okay so far?” he asked as he bent to remove his shoes.

  "Yes,” the single word slipped
through her suddenly dry throat. She moistened her lips as she watched him, her gaze fixed on him as he straightened and tugged his sweater off over his head. Her gaze was drawn to his broad shoulders and the muscles that bunched beneath his smooth skin as he tossed the sweater aside. She eyed the broad expanse of his chest and the covering of fine black hair that grew there and wondered idly if the hairs would tickle her nose if she pressed her face against his bare chest as she had pressed her face against his chest earlier.

  Her breath seemed to stall as his hands went to his belt. Her eyes followed the deft movements of his large hands as he unfastened the belt and tugged it free of the waistband of his jeans and dropped it into the pile with his shoes and sweater.

  Her heart hammered in her chest and echoed in her ears as she watched in breathless anticipation. “Still doing okay?” he asked as he lowered himself onto the bed beside her.

  She nodded.

  The noise in her head and in her ears intensified as he stretched beside her, pulling her against him. Fear and growing excitement warred for dominance as she snuggled against him. He kissed her, gently at first, but with growing passion, as his hands stroked her face and her hair, before they lowered to her bottom where he cupped the cheeks of her bottom as he tugged her lower body into closer contact with his.

  She felt the hard line of his penis press against her thigh and was surprised that his hardness fascinated her. Her only other experience with a man's cock had been ugly and brutal and she couldn't fathom why she felt excited rather than repulsed as Slade's erection grazed her thigh.

  The image of the other man, his cock standing rigid in front of him as he stood menacingly over her spilled slowly into her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the ugly memories of the other man and his cock away.

  She could hear the rapid thud thud thud of her own heart in her ears as Slade shifted so that he was partially above her. He kissed her lightly, teasing a string of little kisses around the edge of her mouth. He used his tongue to trace a line around her bottom lip, retracing the line again and again until the ugly images receded and she was pressing against him, her whimpers caught beneath his mouth.